It's now been almost two months since I made the decision to leave the Orthodox Presbyterian Church. While some might be inspired to stick around and fight the fight that needs to be fought there--and they have my respect, prayers, and well-wishes--I am not one of those people. For myself, I sensed the need to make an abrupt break, a big reason being that it would violate my conscience to sit under a pastor who (so I have come to realize) is severely compromised by the thought paradigms of feminists, including those in the OPC, such as Aimee Byrd, Valerie Hobbs and Rachel Miller. There are further personal reasons for leaving the OPC which God has made clear to me, and I will not go into them, but I am confident it is the best thing to do. I kinda already had one foot out the door before this incident.
As I get into the discussion below, I'm going to assume a bit of context is known by the reader, including the lay of the land with regard to conservative reformed denominiatons, the controversy in the OPC over the writings of certain female authors and their supporters, and the open letter concerning abuse that was signed by many OPC pastors and elders (I think it was summer 2020) as it relates to the Facebook group Genevan Commons. I'm also going to suppose that patriarchy is Biblical and is not evil. How dare I.
In my last discussion with my (now former) OPC pastor, he posed an interesting question. I told him I would think on it and get back to him with a reply when we meet again, which hasn't happened only because we have not agreed to the terms of a further discussion, and because such a discussion is no longer important to me. We could still have this discussion--we shall see. Anyway, the question was something like this: How it is at all "helpful" or "beneficial" to say things on social media that make feminists uncomfortable? Now the part about making "feminists" uncomfortable was not part of the question as originally stated, but that is really what this issue boils down to. It was the feminists who were bothered enough about what I said to turn this into a shitshow, and I still don't believe I owe them an apology.
And, if you have read this far, I bet you would like to know what I said that started all this (for me, that is--for many other people, this really goes back much farther, and some have been much more seriously affected). Well here you go. Someone in Genevan Commons, a private facebook group, posted a quote from Doug Wilson which used the phrase "untethered women." This resulted in some non-serious discussion, in which I was involved, about the idea of tying up such women possibly using chain or rope, and whether we should worry about it if this resulted in screaming.
Now you can see what the problem is. The people involved in this discussion were, in all fairness, joking around (including some women), with no intentions of physically tying up any women. But apparently it's not ok to joke about that stuff, particularly if you're a feminist who spies out private Facebook groups looking for screenshots they can produce to make people look bad. Even so, let us grant that, if the context of this post had been actual abuse, rather than the context of restraining evil (rebellious women), then joking about it would be inappropriate and, well, bad. I grant so much. However, that was not the context, and feminists love to ignore context. They also like to take things out of context on purpose, as we have seen.
On taunting feminists
So, that having been said, let us explore some possible defenses of joking in this way.
First, feminism is an idol. We know that God habitually makes a mockery of idols (this is all over the Bible from the Exodus to the prophets to Christ, but Psalm 2 would be just one example). And we are to be imitators of God. We are to preach to each other, to ourselves, and back to God, affirming what is true. Mockery is not off limits for Christians. Indeed most of us probably don't do it enough, because we would rather focus on being "nice." But there are plenty of examples of it in the Bible that we can learn from. These may offend feminists who would, for example, probably also accuse Paul of being "abusive" for suggesting, under divine inspiration (and perhaps only half-joking), that a sect of people would "emasculate themselves." How dare he.
Second, let us consider where centuries of allowing feminism to run rampant and unrestrained has landed Western society. Millions upon millions of abortions. Gay marriage. Sodomites "coming for your children." No one can figure out what gender anyone is. Increased dependence on ever bloated government. Corrupt divorce courts and millions of broken families. Families unable to make ends meet because work was devalued when women entered the workforce. Parenting is often pretty much outsourced. OK, so the world is complicated, and there are a whole lot of other factors behind those issues in addition to feminism. All the same, I contend that those issues are directly downstream of feminism. They are what we get when we set up feminism as an idol over the princples found in Scripture, and keep running with it for years with no brakes.
What's the point of bringing all that up? For one, I myself, while I am a sinner, haven't partaken in those particular sins. Even if taunting feminists were a sin (which I don't grant, in this case), it would be a far lesser sin than all those aforementioned sins.
But more importantly, I bring up all the downstream issues from femimism so that we may compare our present situation with that of a society that was far more effective at restraining wickedness. Since the OPC places so much value on the Westminster Standards, let us suppose the OPC must also have a fondness for the society that produced them. And let us ask, in mid-17th century England, what would be the punishment if, say, a woman got an abortion? Well it would probably be public execution. What would be the punishment for lesser crimes of rebellion against scriptural principles, regardless of gender? Suppose a husband was a drunk and wouldn't provide for his family. Suppose a wife refused to care for the children. In such cases a punishment such as public flogging would be likely. And how did they keep the guilty party from running off? Rope? Chain? Was there screaming? Shall we speculate further about what this was like? Is this "abuse" yet?
Now you might not like that. You might say, thank God we have "advanced" beyond such barbaric punishments. But, let us ask, what is worse: these (to us) extreme punishments, such as flogging for the purpose of restraining evil; or (as we see now) the promotion by society of the evils from my list of atrocities from a couple paragraphs back, now completely run amok? Do we really think God looks more favorably upon modern Western society for completely and catastropically failing to restrain the evils that have come from feminism? Will not the men of 1640's England, who flogged rebellious wives, rise up to judge the men of our church today who can't figure out how to take a stand against feminism with (at minimum) just their words, and even after we have had decades to witness its resultant evils?
Now, largely, the above paragraphs are written to provoke rational thought about the issue, so that we may stop "thinking" with our emotions under feminist thought-paradigms. It is truly unimportant to me to defend those joking remarks for their own sake, or for mine. It is not a hill to die on for me personally, and certainly no one is required to think the jokes were funny. It is a distraction from the far more important issue here, but also a small piece of it.
The important point here is that I'm just plain done caring what feminists think. As should we all be. It's not their job to be the police of what may be considered offensive.
Yeah, but...
Now many in the OPC will argue that these women--Byrd, Miller, Hobbs, and their supporters--are not really feminists, beacuse they say they aren't; rather, they raise legitimate concerns and their voices need to be heard. To which I would say, actual abuse is indeed a legitimate concern, and a very serious one. So far, we agree. But what doesn't work for me is to blow this up into a major issue within conservative reformed churches without understanding, and without proof of where the abuse is. Shane Anderson has stated that in his observation, abuse is more prevalent in relationships under an "egalitarian" paradigm than a "patriarchal" paradigm. This agrees with what I have seen in my life as well. And I am convinced many more people would see this if they started paying closer attention. Yes, there are some extreme examples of abuse under a patriarchal paradigm, but what do we ever hear about (more or less) patriarchal families that flourish with no abuse? Don't they count? Let's look at the big picture: where's the evidence of a need to connect abuse with patriarchy? Where, in the OPC, is the abuse, really?
And while we're at it, I can prove that large-scale Biblical patriarchy is not functioning in any meaningful way in the OPC. How? One only has to consider that women such as Byrd and Miller have been allowed to continue to promote their views unchecked, and that they have gained a large following including allegiance from many pastors (those who signed the infamous open letter). If we were in patriarchy-world, neither of these things would have been possible. Such women would simply leave the denomination, knowing their views would not be welcome in the OPC (unless they were to stay if social pressures were enough to compel repentance). And in the unlikely event that such a person were to start promoting feminist thinking in the OPC, efficient discipline would be the result. So where's the big evil patriarchy? I don't see it.
No, if there's a real problem in conservative reformed denominations, it would be matriarchy. I can only think of one family in the OPC congregation we left where the wife didn't pretty much call the shots, and pull the strings. They believe the husband is the head in name but not in practice. I don't have the power to fix that, but I am paying attention, and I do know it is a very real problem. So where are the voices of the oppressed calling out to smash the matriarchy? Too confused, and too busy defending feminists, I suppose. That matriarchy is a driving force in the OPC is the only way to account for those who call out feminists (Spangler, etc.) getting dragged through the dirt. All the men in power are cowards who are thinking with their emotions and/or afraid of what certain powerful women (and perhaps their own wives and female congregants) will think. There is no other way to explain what we're seeing.
Another wake-up call, since previous wake-up calls have been ineffective
In any case, I am convinced that Byrd, et al, are feminists; because they are acting like feminists, whether they want to call themselves that or not. I know this because I have seen it all before. This may be worth a separate blog post, but I was raised in the CRC in the 90's, during the feminist takeover of what used to be a solid church. In particular an important tactic for feminists is to appeal to the emotions of women, and of gullible men who unwittingly put women on a pedestal rather than recognize how manipulative they can be. After seeing this same process in the OPC, I am convinced that few in the OPC are in a position to take a stand against feminism, or even to think rationally about this matter at all. Anyone who can't see that Aimee Byrd is a feminist from her writings is in need of a major wake-up call! I don't even know how to engage such persons anymore, other than... well, you can see why I need to get out of the OPC. The OPC is full of men who just don't get it. How can I "dwell in harmony" with them, as scripture prescribes? It's just time to move on.
So this is me, telling the men of the OPC, and of other conservative denominations: Wake up! Take a stand against feminism. Preach against it from your pulpits. Name names. Have courage. Show some backbone. Think. Don't let feminists define for you what is offensive. Go re-read Spangler's series on Feminism in the Reformed Churches. Care enough to call feminists to repent. Teach your flock to be discerning. Don't say no one warned you. The OPC is under attack, and in a major way. You're not going to resolve the disunity over this issue by just being nice. WAKE UP!!!!
Finally, this is for the spais: Listen up, you cows of Bashan! You know who you are. Repent. Step outside your little bubble and quit promoting a false narrative with regard to abuse. Remember that you will have to answer to God for slandering godly men and women. Stop publishing terrible books that divide people and lead them astray. Get off Twitter, go home, and be a helpmeet to your husbands. This is your Biblical calling. You're welcome.
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